Question #2

You are doing great so far, believe me... Don't blow it!

Which of the following best describes why you would vote for me?  Obviously it's hard to pick, but if you want to be like me, you've got to learn to make tough decisions.

A) You are self-funding your campaign

B) You are a really good businessman

C) You are honest/unapologetic/politically incorrect/tell it like it is

D) I like your immigration policy

E) I feel you are a decent human being

F) You seem like a natural leader who can build consensus

G) You are not part of the corrupt political class

H) You remind me of George Washington / Abraham Lincoln / another great president

I) I like your tax plan

J) I think the other candidates will let people die on the streets without healthcare

K) You are a winner: smart/successful/can accomplish whatever you set your mind to

K) You have an ability to make great deals/negotiate

K) You aren't low-energy

L) You have an airplane, and I think you might let me test drive it if I vote for you

M) All of the above


Question 2

“You’re fired... you are a leightweight loser.  You are also ugly, but I am just talking about your persona, not your face.  I'm outta here... if you want to finish the quiz, I'll let Megyn Kelly ask you the tough questions." 

What is the thing that you like least about Trump?

A) His mistreatment of/disrespect for women

B) His business failures/bankruptcies

C) He is a bully that will insult anyone who disagrees with him

D) His crudeness and lack of decency

E) His pride/arrogance

F) His pattern of support for liberal policies and/or politicians, (e.g., Hillary Clinton)

G) His disregard for the rule of law

H) His tendency to defraud/con people for personal gain

I) His lack of detailed policy proposals

J) His bigotry/racism/divisiveness

K) His lack of diplomacy/political skill/civility

L) His tendency toward violence/use of force

M) His marital affairs/sexual exploits

N) His multitude of lawsuits/legal troubles

O) The likely bombshells in his tax returns

P) War crimes as a campaign promise makes me uneasy

Q) All of the above and more!


Question #3

Hey, Megyn... what kind of question was that?! YOU'RE FIRED!  I'm taking control here... come back in a week or so when you aren't so moody.

If you won $35,000 in the lottery today, would you be willing to spend it to attend Trump University. 

(Feel free to check out this promotional video if it helps you make up your mind... do NOT click on the second video... it was inserted by a virus from a Chinese hacker, but I've got the BEST people working on cleaning it up.):


A) Yes... I would sign up and pay.

B) No... I would waste the money on something else.


Question #4


If your teenaged daughter (if you don't have one, please pretend you do) wanted to date a younger version of me (possibly slightly better looking... I know that's hard to imagine, but try), would you let her?




Pay no attention to this video... it was those Chinese hackers again... my people managed to make it very small, though, so it will go the way of little Marco  :-)

Question #7

After a tough debate night, what do you think I do to recover my inner zen:

a) Read my fan mail

b) Tweet insults to Mitt Romney

c) Hug a life sized Olaf doll 

d) Enjoy some quality time with my mirror

e) Consult my handlers

f) Count my money... and I do have a LOT of it... believe me... my tax return is BIG and I am a WINNER!

g) Listen to howard stern

h) Drive my tank over some lego people

i) Work on a detailed policy action plan for my first 100 days in office


Hey... I didn't write that question... the Chinese must have hacked into my computer again!  I'm sending Dennis Rodman over there... that should teach them!


Question #8

As you know, my name: "Trump" means quality all over the world.  However, some leightweight losers have ascribed unflattering qualities to me.  Of the qualities listed below, how many do you think accurately describe me?  

If you click a number that is not zero, I will assign one of my foreign Florida resort workers to tweet insults about your mother.  If you click "-1" and vote on an online poll to say I won the last debate, I will offer you 1/2 off of tuition at Trump University.

Remember, I've been very nice to you so far, when I could have been very, very not nice.

Insecure, Crude, Arrogant, Litigious, Vain, Uninformed, Mean, Disrespectful of law, Selfish, Self-centered, Loud, Immoral, Dictatorial, Crass, Insensitive, Smug, Pretentious, Insulting, Reckless, Deceitful, Sarcastic, Lewd, Temperamental, Indecent, Impudent, Infantile, Unconservative, Greedy, Opportunistic, Manipulative, Deceptive, Incompetent, Delusional, Authoritarian, Divisive, Racist, Juvenile, Disingenuous, Conniving, Bankruptcy prone, Lacking compassion, Lacking dignity, Lacking prudence, Bigoted, Dishonest, Unwilling to listen, Unwilling to admit fault, Pugnacious, Disrespectful of women, Disloyal, Untrustworthy, Destructive, Spoiled, Cowardly, Profane, Bully